Originally Published: June 26, 2025
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked.”
I bought what some would call a death calendar.
The average human lifespan is 88 years, which equates to ~4,576 weeks.
Each Friday, I circle in a bubble. Each bubble represents one week of life lived.
One Friday, my wife chimed in as she watched me fill in a bubble with a teal Sharpie…
“What do you think about when filling in a bubble? Isn’t that depressing?”
Me: “Not really, it’s a reminder I’m not going to live forever. It helps me not sweat the small stuff. I’m able to focus on what’s important.”
When you accept the finality of life, things that seem important today suddenly don’t seem so important.
Responding to the 7:30pm client email. The country club membership. Buying a fancy new car. Squeezing an extra percentage point out of your investment portfolio. These things might seem like the most important thing in the moment, but they hardly register when one looks back on life.
Bronnie Ware, author of “Top Five Regrets of Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed,” asked his hospice patients about regrets or what they would have done differently. The same themes popped up again and again…
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not what others expected of me
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
- I wish that I had let myself be happier
I find what’s on the list almost as interesting as what’s NOT on the list…
- I wish I stared at my phone more often
- I wish I posted more on social media
- I wish I watched more political TV
- I wish I would have followed the market more closely
- I wish I would have made more money
We are conditioned to have one scoreboard: financial. Money is socially revered, it’s highly visible, tangible, and one can not-so-subtly broadcast how they’re doing (just look at social media).
But as we age and our basic needs of food & shelter are taken care of, I find that money becomes less important. Purpose, fulfillment, relationships, growth, and health become more important.
Most people would love to have Warren Buffett’s balance sheet, but would scoff if you had to take his age along with the billions (Buffett will turn 95 in August).
You might find it odd that a money person is telling you money isn’t important. Money is important, but it’s not the only scoreboard that matters. Too often, our relentless pursuit of money leaves us bankrupt in other areas.
The hard-working executive that lets his weight balloon under long hours and intense stress.
The traveling salesperson that misses every one of her son’s baseball games because she’s chasing a promotion.
The retiree that obsesses about every tick of the stock market leading to social isolation and sleepless nights.
When you’re all-in on the money game, other areas often fall out of balance.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the ten richest people on Earth have 12 divorces among them.
According to Sahil Bloom’s book, “The 5 Types of Wealth,” we can look beyond money when calculating our personal wealth score…
- Social Wealth – connections, influence, reputation, status in professional domain
- Time Wealth – freedom, autonomy, ability to choose how you spend your time
- Physical Wealth – fitness, mental health, energy level
- Mental Wealth – emotional IQ, expressing gratitude, peace of mind
- Financial Wealth – stocks, bonds, real estate, digital assets, business interests
When we broaden our definition of wealth beyond money, it can lead to a healthier relationship with money and a more balanced life…
Spending money on a gym membership increases your physical wealth.
Spending money on a plane ticket to attend a dear friend’s wedding increases your social wealth.
Turning down a lucrative promotion that requires travel to free up time to spend with your kids increases your mental wealth.
Retiring early to focus on a passion hobby increases your time wealth.
“The war you wage is about happiness, fulfillment, loving relationships, purpose, growth, and health. If all the battles you’re fighting are exclusively about money, you may win these battles, but you will lose the war.” – Sahil Bloom, author of “The 5 Types of Wealth”
In 50+ years, most of us will be long gone. Someone else will live in our home. Most of our stuff will be sold, given away, or thrown away. Our kids’ kids probably won’t know our story.
The stuff that really matters is right in front of you. Cherished relationships, being able to what you want, with who you want, when you want, a fit body, and peace of mind.
Money is important, but it’s not the only scoreboard we should be using.
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